Gathering Strength

Learning to be grey
This week, I have been gathering strength. My physical fitness and diet have improved a lot since returning from my trip. I didn't meet my fitness goals this week but I will stick with them and hope to report to my support group that I have given myself the time to work on my healthier body.

I have spent quite a lot of time this week sorting and decluttering in the apartment. There are a lot of books that I can pass along to others and my storage areas are becoming less cramped. Clothing is a problem but January has been "buy nothing" month. I will wait for more weight-loss and to see how my grey grows in before I purchase anything.

I really respect women who have the strength to make significant changes in their lives. Overwhelmed by obligations and ignoring my inner voice, I have made compromises that have caused me unhappiness. In my case, food and wine have filled the void left by an empty marriage. The ever earnest me believes that if I try harder, look prettier, am more understanding, my husband will act differently. He won't!

Last night, I went to a night club to listen to his band. I am the least noisy night club woman you would ever want to meet. At almost 62, I felt ridiculous and uncomfortable sitting alone in a club as my husband played music. Today, he has spent 7 or 8 hours with a woman singing, recording or something… Despite my unhappiness, my husband will continue to do as he pleases.

I am spending my time creating a stronger me who can choose happiness. I don't want to take antidepressants for the rest of my life or live with a bottle of pinot grigio as my evening companion.
I am a strong woman who needs to gather all of her resources. I don't know where the journey will take me and perhaps that is why right now I am also looking to a faith group for support.

Reba has a song that describes my feeling right now.


  1. You look great, the colour really suits you and the style. Very elegant. I hope you find your way out of the place you are in. Sounds like a crossroads?

  2. When you look at that photo you must, surely, see an attractive, interesting woman! I hope you are able to navigate through this difficult time before too long.

  3. Your strength and resolve and, yes, wisdom, come through so clearly in this post. And this is a beautiful photo. So glad you have a support group to count on in your effort to move forward. Bon courage!


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