Monday, June 9, 2014

Etre bien dans sa peau???


Etre bien dans sa peau….what does that really mean? Literally, it translates as "to be well in one's skin"
or to feel comfortable with who we are. Many of the women that we admire seem to have met this challenge. I have not!

Being well in our skin does not depend on our accomplishments, our physical beauty or our economic circumstances. All of these factors can vary throughout our lives but acceptance of ourselves as we are today is a task that many of us find almost impossible. It is easy to blame the family, the education system or the capitalist economy for our malaise. It is much easier to control the daughter who is constantly looking for approval. She disturbs our classrooms the least so as teachers we can focus on the less able or more disruptive students. For all of her life, she will be buying the ONE cream, lipstick or outfit that promises her a moment of perfection….BUT she never achieves it.

The perfect moment that she is seeking is elusive…the moment that a parent says, "you are my best daughter" or that the lover/partner says,"I don't deserve such a woman." She may be a devoted mother, a breadwinner, a clotheshorse, a scholar, triathlete…..the list goes on to infinity but never is it enough! The insecurity and anxiety abate on occasion only to re-emerge at another moment.

What can we do about this feeling of insufficiency? Counselling? Pills? Wine? More purchases? Another partner? Learn a new skill? I really have no answer to that question. I probably have tried all of those solutions and guess what…..No luck! I may be coming a little closer to peace by having joined my local church but the jury is out on that one…..

I'm noticing my punctuation throughout this post..a lot of questions and so forth…..'s. Probably because  number of questions and possible answers are as many as there are different women!

I enjoy writing my blog because I know that so many women think about these things every day. When we share our ideas, we realize that we are all both exceptional and unexceptional in a lot of different ways.

Thank you to Rafe's Hotel for giving me something to think about this morning.



7 comments:

  1. Love this post. I want to believe I am more comfortable in my own skin and I am compared to 20 years ago. But at that point I did not eat very much in my desire to be slim so at 44 I am pleased that there is some improvement! I have been following your posts on this topic. I wish I had or somebody had a simple answer, some words of wisdom and we would all feel that peace. I love reading your blog because it does give me some words and some direction. I will keep reading and we can keep sharing and supporting. You are amazing. You just can't see it.

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    1. Our feelings of insecurity come and go but I believe that if we can "name it and claim it" we are part way there. There may be no answers, only changes in our attitudes. Do you ever look back at a time when you were strong or accomplished a personal goal and wonder how you did it? Probably by putting one foot in front of the other and doing it? We are all amazing but we often fail to recognize our own strength.

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  2. I am starting to think, at 59, that "Etre bien dans sa peau" is something that comes to some of us with the mellowing of age. I think that there needs to be a shift in our thinking from our insufficiency to our sufficiency, to accept that the recognition of what we do well does not come from outside but within.

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  3. One of the real rewards of getting older, in my opinion, is that if you are willing, so much inner development can happen. As you say, we pursue a comfort within ourselves all our lives, but at least in my case, I don't think it ever even began to happen until lately (age 64). Perhaps it was just arriving at this age in one piece, having weathered life's ups and downs. ;-) That makes it easier to accept that I am never going to be perfect, and to strive simply to be someone I respect.

    It makes me smile that when I was younger, no one ever said, "Don't worry. Each decade will bring gifts of knowledge and discovery and there will be more and more as you get older, if you are open to them." In this youth-obsessed culture, that message is rarely heard.

    OMG, just blathering away. Sorry! But you make me think. Glad you were able to make something out of my rattling on this morning.

    Mary

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  4. With each decade, we have more experience and we realize our own mortality. I ask myself, "Is this how I want to spend the rest of my life?" If we are not comfortable with ourselves, old age will be very difficult.

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  5. Bonjour Madame La-bas, Its weird, me and the husband were only talking about this very thing yesterday! I hit 52 this July, and to me it is a major milestone in my head, simply because my father died at 52, Strange, but I am a bit superstitious?? We were sat having a cafe, pretending to be in Paris, when a young girl (around 16/17) walked past, I am not one to judge, honestly, but she was large, but my goodness, did she own it! At that moment I thought, looking at her beautiful face and body language,
    wow, I wish I felt that good about myself. It almost made me cry thinking of the time wasted, worrying, so guess what, I am going to refuse to do it anymore! Lesson well and truly learned. Love the blog, will follow with interest. bisous.

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  6. It is all in the way we see ourselves. I don't know how we change that but it is important that we try.

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